Generational conversations aren’t new. Every era has its debates—Boomers vs. Gen X, Millennials vs. Boomers, Gen Z vs. Millennials. But here’s the thing: when we actually sit down and listen to one another, we discover that we have a lot more in common than we thought. Episode 17 of the Black. Girl. Iowa. podcast was a perfect example of that.
In this episode, I sat down with Tatum Clayburn, a Des Moines native, community advocate, and proud member of Gen Z, for an unfiltered, honest, and hilarious conversation about identity, social media, dating, work, and everything in between. It was one of those talks that left me thinking we need more of this.
So, let’s dive into it.
Meet Tatum Clayburn: A Voice for Gen Z in Iowa
Tatum is someone who doesn’t just talk the talk—she walks it. She’s a Roosevelt High School alum (2018), a Simpson College grad (2022) with a degree in political science, and someone who’s held roles in political campaigns and community organizations across Iowa. Today, she serves as the Development & Donor Relations Manager at the Des Moines Symphony, continuing her work in public service and civic engagement.
But what stands out about Tatum isn’t just her resume—it’s her realness. She’s unafraid to call things out, to speak her truth, and to advocate for herself and others in a world that too often demands silence from young Black women.
“I’ve worked in places where my reputation precedes me—but outside of 8 to 5? That’s my time. That’s not my job.” — Tatum Clayburn
Can we give her a round of applause for boundary-setting? 🙌🏾
Generational Gaps: Millennials vs. Gen Z (It’s Not a Battle)
At the heart of this episode was a shared desire to understand each other. I’m a proud Millennial (class of ‘86 here!), and like many in my generation, I’ve often felt a bit at odds with Gen Z. Whether it’s the way they navigate work, their relationship with technology, or how they approach activism and social justice—sometimes it feels like we’re speaking different languages.
But Tatum broke it down for me in a way that made so much sense.
“We’re not enemies—we’re holding up a mirror. And sometimes y’all (Millennials) don’t like what you see.” — Tatum Clayburn
Whew! That one hit. She’s right. Gen Z has grown up in a world where information is at their fingertips. They’ve had to adapt to crisis after crisis—from 9/11, to the Great Recession, to COVID-19, to ongoing political unrest. They’re exhausted. And they’re done playing by rules that haven’t served them.
Work and Hustle Culture: A Lesson in Boundaries
One of my favorite parts of our conversation was about work-life balance. Millennials were raised in hustle culture—we were told to work hard, grind, and someday we’d see the rewards. But Gen Z? They aren’t buying into that dream.
“I have 36 days of PTO, and I use every single one. Sometimes I take a day off just because I can.” — Tatum Clayburn
I wish I had that mindset at 23. I was the one answering emails at 9 p.m., feeling guilty for taking a sick day. Tatum and her generation are reminding us that we’re not here just to work ourselves into the ground.
Social Media: The Double-Edged Sword
No generational convo is complete without talking about social media. And let me tell you, we went deep.
Tatum broke down how social media shaped Gen Z from day one. Unlike Millennials, who eased into the digital world with Myspace and early Facebook, Gen Z was born into a world of Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, and more. That constant connectivity brought some great things—community, access, creativity—but also a lot of pressure.
We shared stories about:
- Dating apps (Tinder, Hinge, Bumble… spoiler: they’re a mess.)
- Hookup culture (which is not the same as it was in my day!)
- Oversharing online (from “Get Ready With Me” videos to the rise of influencers)
- Internet safety (Tatum had Kick; I had AOL chat rooms—both were wild.)
And here’s the thing that blew my mind: even though the platforms were different, the experiences were often the same. The risks, the excitement, the mistakes—we’ve all been there, just in different digital spaces.
“Sometimes I think about how I’ve gone to strangers’ houses after talking to them for six hours, and I’m like—how am I not dead?” — Tatum Clayburn
Girl. Same. (Only, for me, it was AOL chats back in the day 😅.)
Bridging the Gap: What We Can Learn From Each Other
At the end of this conversation, I walked away with so much respect for Gen Z—not just for how they’re navigating the world, but for how they’re pushing us to do better.
They’ve challenged us to:
- Set boundaries (log off, take PTO, protect your peace)
- Reject toxic hustle culture
- Prioritize mental health
- Question outdated systems (whether it’s capitalism, education, or healthcare)
- Show up unapologetically
And as a Millennial? I realized there’s a lot we can still teach, too. We’ve been through our own storms. We’ve paved the way in activism, technology, and redefining what success looks like. We can share those lessons—but we also need to listen.
“I’ve learned so much from watching Millennials—but now it’s your turn to learn from us.” — Tatum Clayburn
That’s the energy I’m taking with me. Mutual respect. Shared growth. Collective liberation.
Final Reflections: Why This Episode Matters
When I started Black. Girl. Iowa., I wanted to create a space where Black women’s stories could be heard in full—uncut, honest, layered. This conversation with Tatum reminded me exactly why that mission matters. Yes, we laughed (a lot), but we also leaned into uncomfortable truths about identity, generational differences, and the emotional weight that comes with trying to “do it all” in today’s world.
Tatum’s story—being a biracial Black woman raised by a Black mother, navigating the intersections of identity, privilege, and perception—opened up a conversation that too often gets pushed to the sidelines. The fact that she could speak so candidly about how her upbringing shaped her worldview, while also acknowledging the unique challenges of being “white-presenting,” was powerful. Her mom’s wisdom—that metaphor about stilettos and kitten heels—still sits with me.
“You need to be obvious of that. Otherwise, you’re going to have more trouble for yourself down the road.”
And then there’s the generational piece. What I loved most about our back-and-forth is that it wasn’t about proving who’s right or wrong—it was about learning. I’ll be the first to admit that I came into this conversation with some assumptions about Gen Z (because who hasn’t heard the stereotypes?). But listening to Tatum speak her truth—about living through crisis after crisis, about rejecting toxic hustle culture, about setting boundaries at work—I couldn’t help but nod along and reflect on my own journey as a Millennial.
It’s easy to point fingers across generations. It’s harder—but so much more rewarding—to sit down, listen, and understand why we do things the way we do.
Here’s what I’m carrying forward from this episode:
- We’ve all been through it. Whether it’s Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, or Gen Z—each generation has faced its own set of struggles. The difference is in the timing and the tools we had to cope with it.
- Technology changed the game. For better or worse, social media, dating apps, and instant access to news have shaped how we relate to the world and to each other. The fact that Tatum and I shared eerily similar stories about internet chat rooms and hookup culture, just different apps and platforms, blew my mind.
- Boundaries are everything. Gen Z is teaching the rest of us that our worth isn’t tied to our productivity. I’ve been learning to take my PTO, to log off when the day ends, to rest. And I owe some of that to these younger voices holding up a mirror.
As I said on the podcast, Tatum will absolutely be back. We already have plans to dive deeper into Black Girl Dating in Iowa (because let’s be honest, we barely scratched the surface of that topic!). And I’m excited to keep having these generational conversations, bridging gaps, and building understanding.
If this episode resonated with you—whether you’re a Gen Z’er, Millennial, or somewhere else on the timeline—reach out! Tell me what you think. Tell me what you’ve learned. Let’s keep the dialogue going.
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