On this episode of Black. Girl. Iowa., I took time to honor the life and legacy of Deacon Donnie Dunbar, a beloved member of the Des Moines community and my church family at Corinthian Baptist Church. His recent passing left a significant impact on many, and I had the opportunity to attend his homegoing ceremony—a beautiful tribute to a life well lived.
The Power of the Dash
During the ceremony, my father shared a sentiment that resonated deeply with me: In life, we are promised two things—a start date, the day we are born, and an end date, the day we pass. What defines us is the dash in the middle. That dash represents every decision, connection, mistake, and accomplishment that shapes our lives.
Deacon Dunbar embodied this philosophy, living a life of service, leadership, and joy. From his work in the community to his dedication to the Des Moines Valley Golf Club—the only Black golf club in Iowa—he made an impact that will be remembered for generations.
Finding Clarity in Stillness
This theme of reflection and impact tied beautifully into my conversation with my guest, Dr. Destinee Woodris. She shared a personal experience that gave her a moment of clarity—one that deeply resonated with me. After going through major life changes, including earning her doctorate, going through a divorce, and moving to a new city, she found herself at Crystal Lake, overwhelmed by the weight of it all.
As she watched the water flow—unbothered by the noise and chaos around it—she realized something profound. “I looked at just the way in which the water flowed around different activities, around different events. It didn’t change up its properties. I was inspired by that. I was moved to tears. And I told the water, thank you,” she shared. In that moment, she exhaled, let go, and embraced the stillness. It was a reminder that we, too, can find peace and clarity if we allow ourselves to pause and reflect.
The Importance of Self-Care and Community
Dr. Woodris and I discussed how easy it is, especially as Black women, to become the “24-hour woman”—constantly moving, striving, and giving without taking time for ourselves. We often don’t stop until we’re at a breaking point. But through her story and my own journey, I’ve realized how crucial it is to take intentional moments of rest.
As Dr. Woodris put it, “Your body definitely tells you when to stop. And the moment that happened for me was at Crystal Lake. I finally exhaled. My shoulders went down.” For me, that means setting boundaries, like my sacred 7–10 PM time block for myself—reading, crafting, or simply existing without expectations. For Dr. Woodris, it’s finding solace in walks, calls with her grandmother, and time on her porch reflecting.
She also emphasized the importance of community, saying, “Community engagement is something I knew if I didn’t get involved in, a piece of the story was going to be missing forever. My mere existence is enough to do it, but if I can inspire other people to tell their story, to stand up for their friend, to take action—that’s why I do this work.”
Final Thoughts
Deacon Donnie Dunbar’s life and Dr. Destinee Woodris’ moment of clarity remind us all to live with purpose, to take care of ourselves, and to cherish the connections we build along the way. We should all ask ourselves: What does our dash represent? How are we living in a way that brings both joy and impact?
To hear the full conversation and gain more insight from Dr. Destinee Woodris, be sure to listen to the latest episode of Black. Girl. Iowa. And as always, take a moment for yourself today—you deserve it.
Want More Black. Girl. Iowa?
🎧 Listen to the Podcast
Catch Dr. Destinee’s episode on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, and YouTube. Each episode shares powerful stories, real conversations, and authentic Black voices from Iowa.
🛍 Shop the Merch
Show your love for the podcast and represent the movement! Visit the Black Girl Iowa Etsy Shop to grab tees, journals, and more.
📲 Follow & Connect
Join the community on Instagram and TikTok: @blackgirliowa.
Visit the blog and explore more content at www.blackgirliowa.com.
💬 Subscribe, Rate, and Review
If the podcast has inspired or moved you, let the world know. Don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share with a friend!
Black. Girl. Iowa. 