On this week’s episode of Black. Girl. Iowa., I had the honor of sitting down with Kayla Bell-Consolver—licensed mental health counselor, Director of the Broadlawns–Drake University Student Counseling Center, and founder of Question Kayla, LLC.
Kayla’s story is one of courage, community, and unapologetic truth-telling. From her early years in Tampa, Florida, to her time in Illinois, and now her life and work in Des Moines, she has learned what it means to navigate difference, claim identity, and pour her passion into creating safe spaces for others.
Black Girlhood, Difference, and Belonging
Kayla shared with me the ways her childhood shaped her perspective on identity. Growing up in Tampa, she was surrounded by a tight-knit Black community. But when her family moved to Illinois, she quickly realized how “different” she was—sometimes even among her Black peers.
“I didn’t realize I had a little accent. In Florida, everyone wears jewelry, rings, sneakers. I had this big Scooby-Doo chain that was so normal where I grew up. But when I moved, I realized, oh, I’m different—even around Black people.”
Like many of us, Kayla’s experience of Black girlhood was filled with both joy and struggle. She recalled being bullied for her appearance and for parts of herself she hadn’t yet learned to understand.
“I don’t think I tried to be accepted. If anything, I became less accepting of myself.”
The Power of Words
One of the most moving stories Kayla shared was about coming out to her grandmother. Unsure of how her family would respond, she wrote a letter. Her grandmother’s response was simple, but life-changing:
“You are going to have a great life. There’s nothing wrong with you and I love you.”
Kayla reflected on how deeply those words touched her younger self:
“When my Nana said that, it touched directly back to that little 10-year-old in me. My adult self knew it, but that inner child needed to hear it.”
It reminded me how important affirmation is for children navigating difference—and how words spoken in love can be powerful medicine.
Therapy as Heart Work
Kayla is a licensed mental health counselor specializing in trauma, inner child work, and shame. She explained why her approach to therapy goes beyond clinical practice:
“Therapy is part technique, but a good chunk of it is heart work.”
“I know exactly what it’s like to try to get rid of a part of you. And I know how profound the healing can be when we actually accept every part of us.”
Her own journey of navigating shame allows her to hear and name it in others. She described it as almost a sixth sense:
“I can hear that streamlined story of ‘I’m worthless because of who I am.’ And I lean in and give it space to be heard.”
For Kayla, therapy is about more than coping skills. It’s about wholeness, acceptance, and creating safe spaces for people—especially BIPOC and LGBTQ communities—who have too often been told their very existence is wrong.
Using Her Voice
Beyond the therapy room, Kayla has become a force on TikTok, where she shares short, powerful videos that reach thousands.
“I didn’t go in saying I wanted to be an influencer. I wanted to have fun and share my heart. Mental health isn’t accessible for a lot of people, so this is my way of making it free and open.”
Her messages are direct, affirming, and sometimes jarring in the best way. One of her viral videos reminded viewers:
“You don’t have to be perfect, you just gotta be you.”
That line hit me hard. It’s simple, but it’s something so many of us need to hear—especially when perfectionism, shame, and outside expectations weigh us down.
Claiming the Sauce
Perhaps the most memorable line of our conversation came when we talked about identity and resilience:
“Black women were born with the sauce. But we live in a society that tells us our sauce is wrong, that it needs to be changed.”
Kayla reminded me that our work is not about creating worth—it’s about reclaiming what was always ours.
“I used to have this fear of success—like, who am I going to become? And now I can’t wait to see who I’m going to become.”
At just 31 years old, Kayla is already leading, teaching, and creating impact. Yet she describes this season of her life as only the beginning.
Looking Back…
I cannot thank Kayla enough for coming and chatting with me about all the things. Hearing her journey through mental wellness and really understanding who she is was eye-opening for me. And let me tell you something—after the interview, Kayla looked at me and asked:
“Emili, is your podcast a way for you to communicate with your younger self—12-year-old Emili?”
When I tell y’all I started crying almost immediately, I mean it. That question made me realize that yes, this podcast is my way of speaking to the girl I once was—the one who sometimes felt invisible, out of place, and silenced.
Kayla’s question pushed me to reflect: what did 12-year-old Emili need to hear? How can I use my voice now to say those things out loud—for myself and for others? That realization has become one of the most important takeaways from our conversation.
💡 If you don’t have a therapist or mental health counselor as a friend, get one. Because sometimes, the right question can unlock years of silence.
Connect with Kayla
Question Kayla, LLC
✨ Mental Health Presentations, Consultations, and Trainings
🌈 Pronouns: She/Her
💼 Licensed Mental Health Counselor
Stay Connected:
- Website: questionkaylallc.com
- Substack: questionkayla.substack.com
- TikTok: @questionkayla
- Instagram: @questionkayla28
Want More Black. Girl. Iowa.?
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As always—keep showing up for yourself, keep telling your story, and keep being unapologetically you. 🖤
Black. Girl. Iowa. 